


The Awkward Adoption of Uchiha Sasuke

by hypernousnight



Series: The Unintentional Nara Revolution [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Active Conspiracy this time, Discussion of Canon Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, It is definitely not crack, Just Nara being Nara, Like a Shinobi, Mildly apologetic about that, Sasuke needs a hug and a support system, So we just circumvent him, The Hokage is useless, The Nara Clan is smarter than you, This was supposed to be crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 15:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18210446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypernousnight/pseuds/hypernousnight
Summary: "The Nara are fantastic. Clever, fast, subtle, they exemplify the Shinobi ideal. Now if only they'd stop sticking their noses in everything."- Sarutobi Hiruzen, at some point while drinking probably.The Uchiha were a pillar of Konoha - a founding clan of the village. Everyone else, well, they showed up just in time to be considered useful.But the Uchiha were one of the first.Most people don't remember that part though. So while everyone else is busy going crazy in the streets, mourning the beloved (reviled) clan, the Nara decide to take matters into their own hands. After all, if no one else is going to step in, it's not like they can complain when the Nara help out the last Uchiha.Adopt him.Same thing really.





	The Awkward Adoption of Uchiha Sasuke

**Author's Note:**

> First - I don't own Naruto, the characters, the events, etc. That all belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, and he can keep it all. All of it.  
> Second - it has been a long time since I've stepped foot in Naruto canon beyond the wiki, but I am human and inaccuracies abound.  
> Third - I don't want this story on Goodreads. Like, I feel like this is _really _easy to understand, but apparently I need to say it: Please don't post this to Goodreads or other review sites. If you want to review or rate this fic, please do so in the comments below - that's why they're there.__  
>  Finally - A lot of this is inspired by my friend, Sh4d0wc4t, because as always, they're a horrible enabler. However, this time I'd also like to throw a shoutout to Merilis, who left an awesome comment on the previous fic in this series - which basically turned this into a series.

It wasn't hard to do honestly. Everyone was still in an uproar about the "Massacre", while conveniently "forgetting" that there were any survivors.

Well. Everyone except the Nara. Despite Konoha's reaction, it was  ** _very, very difficult_**  to just forget a primary pillar like the Uchiha  **clan**. Of course, the Akimichi heard all about it from both the Yamanaka and the Nara - you don't just lose eighty-eight percent of the police force and  _not notice_. Especially in Intelligence - when an entire division of the Military force dies, other branches have to fill in. Inoichi, as head of Intelligence, and Shikaku, the jōnin commander, had to bear the brunt of it.

So while everyone else was losing their head, the Nara were making inquiries. Nothing substantial, nothing that could follow them back, nothing  _official_. But if a Nara clan member just so happened to overhear that Sasuke Uchiha was being held in the hospital, because he wasn't technically an adult, and no one was available to sign him out officially, well that was just coincidence. And if Sasuke happened to get out when the nurse's station just happened to be manned by an Akimichi nurse, well, it's about time that he was released!

The Nara were very fond of coincidences; they either led to more pieces of the puzzle, or completely obfuscate everything, leaving them blameless.

Such useful things, honestly.

So if, coincidentally, the jōnin commander's wife just so happened to mourn the lack of field experience her seven year old was getting, within hearing range of the right teachers, it wasn't really the Nara's fault that the Academy was suddenly scrambling for trips off the academy grounds

And if, just by happenstance really, a member of the Nara clan mentioned to a former teammate, who happened to be teaching the newest batch of genin-to-be, about how the jōnin commander's offices were basically swamped with paperwork, and would probably be a great experience for some of the kids, well, that's just fortunate, now isn't it?

And of course, if the Academy happens to inquire about a potential learning experience, and the jōnin commander himself offhandedly mentions how it might be good to get as many classes in as possible because "who knows when the offices are going to be this full again?", that's just an overworked shinobi trying to avoid the song and dance of coordinating Academy students with highly trained military personnel. Right?

Which is, of course, almost exactly how Nara Shikamaru is forced to visit his dad at work. With his  **entire class**. Now, Shikamaru, in all his seven year old experience, and, frankly, terrifying intelligence, knows that his dad is up to something. He's also aware of how boring most of his dad's job is. Combining all of this with his...classmates, means that this is going to either be extremely interesting, extremely boring, or, most likely, subtly intriguing with a grand coat of boredom varnishing it.

Shikamaru Nara is not pleased by any of these options. He's seven. He already knows the entire curriculum for this year, even if his taijustu isn't as coordinated as, say, Hinata's or Kiba's, and his ninjustu mostly revolves around the family techniques. And he'll be visiting his  _dad_ , which he does basically once a week anyway. He knows exactly what his dad's job looks like, and he has a pretty good idea of what his dad actually  _does_. His dad may be smart, but Shikamaru is smart too, and there's no way that his dad is doing paperwork all day everyday. Sure he probably does a lot, even more than all the homework for his entire class plus his cousin's field reports, combined; but he's still a commander, and Konoha is still a Military operated city, so it's not like Shikaku has the time to be anything other than a top-tier shinobi.

So when Shikaku Nara, jōnin commander of Konoha, glances at all the students in front of him and  _pauses_  on Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru knows exactly how this is going to go. To be fair, while Sasuke isn't as lazy as Shikamaru, he is smart. Very smart and good at taijustu - he even managed a ninjutsu fireball once. And as much as Shikamaru loves spending time with Naruto and Kiba, they usually either have trouble focusing on one thing or they're so focused they can't do anything else; Chōji and Ino are always around, and yeah, they're smart, but they're not genius smart. They're not  _Nara_ smart, and it's always frustrating to be a dozen paces ahead of everyone else. Sasuke isn't quite that good, but he's a good three or four beyond most of the other nin-kids in his class. Only Hinata might be better, but she's to shy and anxious to really excel at it. With all of that in mind, and the first few sentences of his dad's badly rehearsed speech bouncing around too, Shikamaru focuses on Sasuke.

Sasuke is going to be a Nara. Shikamaru only has cousins, no siblings, and he's smack in the middle of all the Nara kids; everyone's either a chunin already or barely Academy age. Having someone his age, even if it's  _poor tragic_  Sasuke, would be good. Ino and Chōji have their own clans and compounds - so while they're close, best friends even, it's not the same. Sasuke would make a good sibling he supposes. And  _Shikamaru_  is younger, so he doesn't have to deal with all of the older brother issues. Which is nice, honestly. Itachi was terrifyingly competent and practical - if he didn't have the sharingan, Shikamaru would think he was a Nara. Sure, he also had the cheek bones and and darker eyes of the Uchiha, but the sharingan was Uchiha exclusive. Well. Until Sasuke became a Nara. Shikamaru idly wondered if he would hyphenate, and if he did, how many people would jump to marriage as the conclusion. It would be extremely troublesome to sort out if they did, but it would be amusing to see the horror grace their faces before bluntly informing them they were morons.

He tunes back in as his father starts describing what this particular division is supposed to do and Shikamaru groans internally. He's known what his dad does for years, this is completely redundant. He takes the opportunity to scan over his classmates. Ino is very obviously bored, painting Chōji's nails a dusky blue while he holds up a romance book for them both to read. He'll never understand their fascination with cheesy romance novels, but then he also doesn't understand romance in general. Hinata seems invested but he can tell by the minute twitching in her hands that she's bored as hell, which makes sense since her mom works here. She catches him looking at her and the corner of her lips twitch up. They're definitely going to have to have a shogi game soon - maybe at the nice tea shop? That'll be fun. He blinks, and with eye contact broken, Hinata's eyes drift back to Shikaku.

Hinata gets it.

The handful of civilian children seem enraptured, which is...simultaneously highly amusing, disappointing, and mildly disturbing. Yeah, Shikamaru's dad is the one in charge of most of the jōnin, and it  _sounds_  impressive, but it's nothing really  _interesting_. It's all the nitty-gritty behind-the-scenes paperwork and filing, organizing jōnin teams, deciding on who will be a jōnin instructor, who will move up in rank, who will stay the same. He's not in charge of  _ANBU_  or anything, doesn't control anything beyond sorting out mission difficulty.

Shikamaru really isn't impressed with his dad's job.

But his civi classmates are interested, and as long as Shikamaru's not the one doing it, he doesn't really care who does. Mission difficulty is important, but it's also tedious and boring, neither of which align's with his preferred stance of working as little as possible while getting promising results.

Maybe Sasuke would enjoy it more. He's really been dedicated to classwork since he was released from the hospital, speeding through homework, and putting down opponents in taijustu spars almost as fast as the Hyūga boy in the year above them. A grimace almost makes it's way to the muscles on his face; based on that alone, Shikamaru knows that Sasuke is not going to want to be jōnin commander anytime soon. If ever. With a mental shrug, he dismisses the thought, and goes back to untangling his father's plot to adopt Sasuke Uchiha. The elders...theoretically, they  _might_ agree easily. It would look good for the village, orphaned child of heinous massacre is adopted by the beneficent jōnin commander and his clan. The way to convince them would involve insuring Sasuke's loyalty to the village, building connections he would refuse to break.

Yeah. Like that's going to  _actually_ ,  _legitimately_  happen. Yes, having a clan at his back has the slim (he calculates the odds quickly, and smirks. Yeah that number would  _not_  encourage the elders) chance of fostering brotherhood and unity, but in reality, where Shikamaru is cruelly forced to live and acknowledge, it's not feasible. As much as he hates to admit it (he cringes away from the thought, it's just so.... _civilian_ ), Sasuke  _is_  traumatized, and he  _is_  a child. Weighing in his favor is the fact that he's a  _ninja_  child, so he's already studier than ninety-seven-point-oh-six percent of the civilian population, but weighing against him is A, he's seven. If Shikamaru's  _parents_  died tomorrow, he'd be a trainwreck and a half, even with his clan behind him. In fact, he speculates on his third train of thought, that's probably why Naruto seems so chipper all the time. It's shitty, and he feels vile for the bluntness, but Naruto never had parents. He's an orphan of the Kyuubi, (and isn't that interesting? A fourth, fifth,  _and_  sixth train of thought go off to contemplate  _that_  little insight) so he grew up without parents. For any kid with parents, it would be a devastating loss; for ninja kids, who are, intentionally or otherwise, bred to be sturdier physically and slightly more twisted mentally, it can  _destroy them_. The fact that Sasuke hasn't already gone on a rampage and killed anyone is a testament to his fortitude. Which is impressive for an Uchiha, now that he considers it (train seven is now boarding). Point B is that the massacre was done  _by his family_. And not just some barely-remembered relative who was tired of being shuffled off to the side. No, it was the newest North Star of the Uchiha, the boy who was going to reestablish their power-base and help them become fully trusted in Konoha again. But instead of all of that, instead of reintegrating the Uchiha clan into the village, Itachi  _murdered his clan_. Regardless of gender, regardless of age, he slaughtered them all. And it was just after another rising star of the Uchiha perished. It just...it didn't look good for Sasuke, but it also gave Sasuke all the more reason to resent the village. Not only did he lose  _everyone_ , but suddenly he couldn't go  _anywhere_  without being fawned over like he was some sort of glorious golden charm of wealth (trains eight and nine, now departing). And if they weren't fawning over him like moronic animals in heat, they were refusing to make eye contact, muttering barbed and biting comments under their breath, avoiding his very presence.

Huh. Very similar to how they treated Naruto. Interesting (trains ten through eighteen, now departing).

Regardless, Sasuke needed to have a firm foundation, otherwise he'd A, abandon the village when it became to much of a burden to deal with, B, brutally attack, murder and destroy the village for their failures, or C, become to much of a liability and be put down. Sasuke may not have been his friend ( _yet_ , whispered a parody of his father's voice), but he didn't deserve to go rogue, kill villagers, or be  _murdered_  because his brother is a douchewaffle of the nth degree.

So. Sasuke would just have to be a Nara. They're one of the few without  legitimate reason to want him, which made them one of the few who were neutral about his placement. The Akimichi and Aburame clans could also make a bid, but the Akimichi would back down if the Nara asked, and the Aburame would hesitate because he's too old to really integrate with their clan effectively. He'd still be an outcast among them, no hive of his own, and the wrong type of chakra to sustain any of the insects the Aburame prefer, their bid would be little more than token. The Hyūga couldn't make a bid without looking like they were power hungry, regardless of their "noble" ways, so even if they made a bid, they'd be shot down almost immediately. The Yamanaka were in a similar position due to their mind techniques, though they too would probably back down if the Nara asked. The Inuzuka had a conflict of interest - their interactions with the Uchiha in both the police force and on missions made them sympathetic to be real contenders. The Hatake were basically extinct, their single living member throwing himself so fully into missions that the Hospital has a specific room prepped for him when he makes it back. The last Senju fucked off into the world, without looking back. Which left the Sarutobi clan, and  _they_  couldn't make a bid without looking even more power hungry than the Hyūga.

So Sasuke would have to be a Nara.

Good. Shikamaru wondered what a brother would be like.

\----

Shikamaru was watching him again. He's only been out of the hospital for five weeks now, three of those at school. And everyone, and Sasuke means  _everyone_  is watching him. There are the handful who watched him  _before_ , who, surprisingly are actually watching him  _less_.

Naruto.

The Inuzuka boy.

The Aburame boy.

The Hyūga girl - he's pretty sure she's aware that he knows she watches him, but she hasn't stopped, only reduced the amount.

They all watch him  _less_  than Before. Before he was a disgrace. Before he knew he was weak. Before...before he was alone. Before he went back to blood-soaked streets and phantoms in windows. Empty homes and dusty rooms. It didn't matter than everything had been cleaned up - he still saw blood in every bump and crack in the road, spatters on the walls. Heard the sickening silence of a lost clan.

Shikamaru never watched him. Before or After, the Nara heir never gave a hint that he watched Sasuke, even during taijustu spars. He just never seemed to care about Sasuke, never seemed to care about his progress or skill.

Sasuke had always been secretly grateful for the apathy. Everyone either compared him unfavorably to Ita- _That Man_  - or they praised him heavily for...pathetic accomplishments. He beat an opponent in a spar. He got a perfect score on a test. Things that  _That Man_ did easily, breathing in, then out and it was done. It was infuriating having such opposing views thrown at him. Nara Shikamaru had been one of the few who never seemed to care. The Hyūga girl always seemed curious, but never approached him. He appreciated that too, though not as much. Aburame was similar, watching him, but never addressing him.

It had been nice, having those three people who didn't seem to care how well he did. He loved his family, and he loved getting to learn how to be a ninja, but it became exhausting trying to live up to That Man. And Shisui, but that comparison was made less and less often; especially as That Man grew stronger.

But now Shikamaru is watching him. And he's wary. Warier than he's ever been before when someone was watching him. Shikamaru watching him means that Shikamaru has Plans. It means he's Thinking, and his mother always warned him about Nara's Thinking. They're dangerous and clever and worst of all  _subtle_. Subtle enough to make nearly any other ninja cry when they realize just how foolish they've been. If Shikamaru is watching him, and Sasuke  _knows_ , then Shikamaru wants him to know. He can feel the sweat break out on his skin, the itch between his shoulder blades growing worse as it beads. His first instinct is to duck, make himself smaller, make himself harder to hit. His second is to dodge behind a classmate. Regardless of the honor involved, they're in the jōnin commander's complex, and Shikamaru won't risk anything here.

_Unless his father knows_. Sasuke's eyes widen as he makes that very unfortunate realization. He wants to  _run._

Sasuke has no problem admitting that he is one hundred percent incapable of combating Shikamaru. Taijustu spar? Sure! Classroom test? He can make at least a decent attempt! Out here in the open, with no  _goddamn clue what Shikamaru is planning_? Absolutely  _fucking not_. No chance. He'll end up dead before the hours out.

Pitting him up against Shikamaru  _and his father_? Nope. This is where the Uchiha die out. This is where Sasuke's tentative revenge plan ends. He's dead. He's going to die. He's frantically going through the past five weeks, looking for something,  _anything_ , that would have put him on the Nara's radar. Anything at all. Did he not pay enough at the Akimichi restaurant? No, no, he hasn't gone out to eat since his release - he's been relying on the handful of recipes his mother had let him help with. He's been...ok he's been struggling, but not financially! Did he insult one of the Yamanaka? Well ok, that was plausible. The girl had become absolutely insufferable in the past weeks, but he's just been ignoring her! Like all the other girls!! He hasn't even snapped at her yet!

Eyes moving back and forth rapidly, desperately hoping that he can figure out  _what the fuck he did to piss off the Nara_ , Sasuke doesn't notice the figure meandering beside him until it's too late.

He thought he knew fear when Itachi was staring down at him with blood red eyes.

Uchiha Sasuke, last of the Uchiha, has never before contemplated the mere thought that Nara Shikamaru could be classified as  _terrifying_. He has also never regretted dismissing a classmate's capabilities until this moment.

He skips through his fourth, fifth, sixth AND seventh instincts, right on down to the eighth, which he's slowly been cultivating in recent weeks and has managed to drag it up from the very bottom of his metaphorical instinct ladder: Rage. He's been working and  _trying_  ever since Itachi got fucked in the head and killed everyone he knows, everyone he loves, and fucked right off into the wild blue yonder, never to be seen again in the lovely fucking village of Konoha. He's been trying to figure out how the clan funds work, how to get everything consolidated into his name, even the homes, accounts, and properties which are so far removed from his branch of the family that they may as well be complete strangers for all he knows about them. But he's the  _only fucking person left_  who can do anything with any of it, because Konoha Clan laws are stupidly strict about how Clan inheritance works. He's had to hire a fucking  _lawyer AND law tutor_  so he can learn every thing he needs to know about Konoha law so that he doesn't accidentally  _screw himself six ways from Sunday_. He's been trying to figure out how to hire contractors to fix parts of the Uchiha district which Itachi  _razed to the goddamn ground like a fucking maniac_. He's been looking into the Uchiha clan laws, to figure out how everything is supposed to be set, what he needs to know for the next Council meeting, because  _fuck the Council_  if they think they can dissolve the Uchiha seat.

He's  _tired_. He's  _trying_. And he doesn't need the fucking  _Nara_  coming in and  _murdering him_  without justification before he can even get a goddamn  _asset list_  together so that he can actually  _write a goddamn will_. He's  _fucking seven_. He  _does not need this_. And he turns his head, fully prepared to fight until his dying breath on an absolutely moronic and  _useless_  class field trip, ready to  _rend and tear to the best of his goddamn seven year old ability_.

And Shikamaru is  _still. Fucking. Watching. Him._

He opens his mouth to - to scream, or  _snarl_ ,  _anything to get him to back off_ \- when Nara Shikamaru does the strangest goddamn thing in the world. Nara Shikamaru, village renown slacker, and all-around laziest ninja,  _raises his goddamn hand_.

This isn't real.

Sasuke's stuck in Itachi's genjustu again.

This is worse than dying.

Nara Shikamaru has never once raised his hand in class in all of Sasuke's memory.

Not even for roll call.

"Umino-sensei, Sasuke needs to use the washroom. I can show him where it is." It disturbingly charming, with a hint of  _'do as I say or perish_ ' to it, and Sasuke wants to know how to do that, but also never hear that voice again. Then the words actually register and he can feel his eyes widen and his face go pale. This isn't how he wants to die. Not in a washroom in the jōnin commander's complex, by a fellow seven year old. By an adult, who is stronger and more knowledgeable than him? Not ideal, but understandable. A crazy missing-nin, whom he encounters on a mission? Completely acceptable. Itachi? Disappointing, but Sasuke wouldn't be surprised.

Not here. Not now. He doesn't even have the presence of mind to fight Shikamaru off as he's hauled down the hallway past at least two other restroom doors, and  _oh god he's taking me to a specific washroom to kill me what the hell_ , before being dragged through a doorway and into a drab, unsuspecting restroom. Thankfully, Nara drops his arm quickly, and backs off to stand against a the wall near the sinks, leaving Sasuke standing idly in the middle of the room. He refuses to break first - he won't be the one to start off this interrogation. He'll be as strong as he can be. He knows that in the end, it won't really matter. Shikamaru is a clan kid, heir, and all around genius. There's nothing Sasuke can do to win. Mercy, while desirable, is unlikely; so he'll take his lumps, fight as hard as he can, be as strong as he can and hope he can make it through the window before Nara catches him.

"You can stop freaking out at any time, just so you know."  _Ha! Sasuke's always freaking out so jokes on HIM._  "Look, I realize that  _I'm_ probably the reason you're freaking out, because you didn't start panicking until I was staring at you for awhile." Good to know that he's as observant as Sasuke had feared. "It's nothing bad, no matter what you think. My dad just mentioned that he wanted to invite you to dinner tonight, clan head to clan head. He just wasn't sure how to go about it. Kinda awkward for a thirty five year old to invite a seven year old non-relative over for dinner."

OK, yeah, when put like that it sounds creepy. Extremely creepy. Sasuke is suddenly very glad that Shikamaru is the one tasked with inviting him over. Though - "I don't have anything to wear."

Shikamaru slowly blinks at him, like a cat watching you watch them.

Look, Sasuke is  _trying_  but he was never expected to be clan head, so he has absolutely no training in how to act or what to do. He just knows that his father always had a special kimono and obi he always wore to Council meetings, and another that he wore for meeting with clan heads.

None of that will fit Sasuke. Hell, Itachi's old heir garb will probably swallow him whole based on how stupidly short he is. And he doesn't exactly have time to go rummaging around in the storage rooms for Itachi's older clothes - he'll have to stop off at home right after class to grab some money and drop off his stuff, then he'll have to run to the market and try and figure out what to buy as a gift.

His father usually brought alcohol.

Sasuke most definitely cannot bring alcohol.

Maybe he can find something in the cellar? No, he won't have time for that. Not unless the meetings at nine or later, which isn't likely for the Nara. They enjoy sleeping to much to let something as boring as a clan meeting interfere with their sleep schedule.

Plus he doesn't know what constitutes good alcohol.

He's going to be murdered and he can't even figure out a gift for his would-be-murderers-slash-hosts. God damn Itachi for fucking off after killing everyone, Sasuke is  _not prepared for this shit_.

"Sasuke, I need you to calm down. Like, a lot. I need you to calm down a lot, and I, personally, would find a lot of relief in you calming down. OK? OK." Surprisingly, that actually calms him down, which is baffling. Sasuke hasn't been able to actually calm himself down like that since the episodes started happening in the hospital.

He briefly considers making Shikamaru his new best friend.

He considers it a moment longer.

Sasuke decides to wait until after the murder attempt disguised as a clan head meeting to decide. If they kill him, he'll have no need for a best friend. And if they don't, he'll still have time to consider it.

"You, are a goddamn wreck Sasuke. What the actual fuck."  _Nara_   _Shikamaru is cursing at me. This day cannot get any weirder, I swear_. "Look," Sasuke does. After all, convincing Shikamaru to be his new best friend may involve eye contact, and Sasuke is willing to make that sacrifice. "It's not a big deal - dad just wants to make sure that you're not, you know. Completely overwhelmed to the point of drowning in paperwork." It's Sasuke's turn to blink slowly, and he understands the appeal. It's very satisfying to know that you look absolutely terrifying, but also mildly adorable.

"Did he actually say-"

"No, but he's an idiot for thinking he could hide it. Maybe from other people, but not another Nara. And definitely not me. Although," Shikamaru pauses and scrunches his face, like he's smelled something unpleasant, "Knowing him, he gambled on me figuring it out. Probably hoped for it to save him the awkward small talk at dinner while he tries to subtly work it into the conversation." Shikamaru sighs, looking put out. "Some days I wish I didn't know him so well. Others I just wish I wasn't half as smart as he thinks I am."

Sasuke blinks again. He can't really relate - his father was a fairly average jōnin. That is, he was exceptional among the village ninja, but among jōnin he was middle ground. Nothing amazing, nothing dismissive. And he'd always been focused on Itachi. Sasuke had just been the second son who didn't do as well as the first son and heir.

"Anyway, I can give you three options if you decide to come over, and at least eight ways to avoid my father if you decline his invitation." Shikamaru's  _watching_  him again, the way a hawk watches a songbird. Sasuke feels like prey and he  _does not appreciate it_. Shikamaru even tilts his head slightly, like a bird observing.  _Not appreciating  this  **at all**_.

Sasuke makes a split second decision, willing to risk the backlash if he can get even a sliver of advice, "What are my options if I accept?"

"Well, the first is to buy some of the fancy seasonal sweets from the high end shop on-"

"I think I know the one. It has a red roof right? Across from the tea shop?" Shikamaru  _grins_ ,  _teeth_  on display. It doesn't look threatening, but it definitely feels threatening. Sasuke really _, really wants to be Shikamaru's friend now._

"That's the one. Their seasonal selection is always good, but they also offer the variety package. Go for that. It's a little more expensive, but it means that you don't have to really  _know_  what to get to make a good impression. The quality and variety speak for you, got it?" Still threatening. But Sasuke's shoulders are relaxing, so he's either got a death wish or is at least recognizes that he's not actually in danger. It may be both at this point, after all he's an Uchiha.  _And we can all see where that leads_ , he thinks bitterly. Shikamaru's paused, like he knows Sasuke needs a minute, which he's grateful for, "Your second option is the bakery down near the river? On the corner before the bridge?"

"Yeah - I think so. It always has those weird pink and white flowers near the door?"

"Mmm, yeah. If you're not feeling up for super sweet, they sell a combo set of green tea and sesame cookies there - again, a little pricer for both, but it gives a better impression to have variety, especially with us Nara." His smile softens, like he's telling Sasuke a secret, and Sasuke feels like he's missing out on what the secret actually is. So he just nods, like he understands all the intricacies of the Nara brain, and doesn't ask. He feels like he'll be safer if he doesn't ask. Shikamaru just smirks at him, and Sasuke  _knows_  that Shikamaru knows Sasuke has no idea what he's hinting at. He's just going to roll with it at this point. "Your third option is to go to the Akimichi restaurant and get ribs. I, personally, hope you go for that option."

His enthusiasm is disturbing, and Sasuke squints at him suspiciously, "Why." It should probably be a question, but Sasuke is comfortable leaving it as a statement. It's safer for everyone as a statement.

"Because my dad loves the ribs, but he hates the mess they make, because then he has to clean up all over again. And say anything you want about ninja, but there is no way to eat Akimichi Specialty Boar ribs without smearing sauce on at least half your face, and coating your hands. It's just not possible." His smirk is a bit wider, still hinting at secrets but letting Sasuke in on them too.

Is this what it's like to have a friend?

Because it feels a lot like what he had with Itachi.

**Author's Note:**

> The nail polish I imagine Ino using to paint Chōji's nails is OPI Yoga-ta Get this Blue.
> 
> As a heads up, this is _tentatively_ an ongoing fic - I'm trying to make each chapter ending be, if not satisfactory, at least a solid ending to the scene. So this will (hopefully) be updating, but it will be slow, because that's who I am as a writer.  
> 


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